Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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