Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So many bounce houses so little time
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize