Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
