I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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