So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
BRING THE BAGELS
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
