i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
