I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
