paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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