I just cut my nipple shaving
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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