Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
