I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
