I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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