shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
