Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
