used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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