Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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