No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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