we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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