wat bout pragnant strippers??
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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