I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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