Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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