Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
