My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Rumble strips road head = magical
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
