There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
