oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
