I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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