Little spoons don't ask big questions
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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