the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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