actually, I'm a sock model
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
