I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize