yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
