How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
