Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
