well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
