you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
