I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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