just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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