I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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