the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
