and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
