I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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