I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
