I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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