I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
