why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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