I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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