Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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