Can i not drive my cunt home
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
