I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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