Whoa Z and x make the same sound
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
