out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize