Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
