So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
