wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
