She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
No subtext here. People are naked.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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