we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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