guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
