The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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