so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize