how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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