If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
