what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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