What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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