i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize