so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
