I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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