Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
