when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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