HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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