His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
