I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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