two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
