I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
