You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
