Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
