So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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