i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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