I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Where is the hickey?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize