Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
