I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
