Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
