OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize